Yesterday (Friday) I was excited because the weekend was only a few hours away. I had a sub job for a high school English class. The day started out great, I'd found the right classroom and I had first period off. I sat and watched the podcast from this week and really enjoyed it. Unexpectedly and surprisingly, the teacher came into the classroom. She was very flustered and upset that she had to have a sub. She asked me if I was an English major, in which I replied no and explained that I taught math. She was outraged that I was subbing for her and made sure to tell me I was incompetent to be here. She ranted for several minutes, told me to not pronounce words if I didn't know them, ordered me around and then left. I was so mad at her but then I realized I needed to show her love.
I thanked her profusely for coming in to give me directions and let her know what to expect. I wished her to feel better and thanked her again, all while still livid that she could say I shouldn't be there.
Talking to students later, I found out that she had great rapport with the students and they said she was really nice. I hadn't seen that part of her. My perspective had changed. It must have just been a bad couple days for her.
How many of us encounter people having a bad day? What about that driver on the freeway who can't seem to drive? How do we react to them? Is it with love or do we show anger, impatience, a short temper right back to them?
"But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."
Psalm 86:15
If we are to be like God in everything we do, why can't we love on those people who are having a bad day? Even if some may seem like they have a bad day every day.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Struggles
Sooo I've had all these really great ideas this week about what to write that will be scholarly and I feel what I should be writing to you fellow slices but my mind keeps coming back to my biggest struggle in life.
Food. I struggle with food. It is my obsession and my downfall. I've always struggled with it but in high school it wasn't that bad. Then I went to college and playing a college sport made it so I could eat anything I wanted whenever I wanted without a consequence. During the last year of college I realized that I needed help because my eating habits were out of control. I'm a compulsive, guilty, emotional, over-eater. I exhibit all bad habits of eating. I tried to help myself but nothing worked. I finished basketball last March and gained weight. At Christmas I finally had had enough. I couldn't control my eating habits and food was controlling my life. I wanted to eat all the time and it consumed every minute of my day. I'd been telling my mom (how is a therapist) that I needed to get help because I couldn't do it on my own.
God told me that I need to get my life healthy before he will bring someone into my life. I decided to sign up for Weight Watchers on Dec. 26 and see if I could relearn how to eat to be a healthier person. I knew this was a step I had to take in the right direction. The first few weeks were great, I didn't have any of the cravings I had before. As I got more comfortable with the program, I started to get my craving and habits back but I have kept it still within the program. I've lost 15 pounds in the last 7 weeks which is great but I don't want these old habits.
So here is what I am struggling with:
1. bad old habits
2. I feel great that I've lost a good deal of weight and then I realize that I've been skinnier and then start to feel bad about myself again
3. at this point, every day I feel like sabotaging myself so that I don't loose weight. I've been so successful so far I feel like at some point I NEED to fail (I know that's awful!)
It's been on my mind to share with you throughout the whole week because I want you to know my struggle. I need prayer and support. And I apologize if I don't eat what you offer me when I am with you. It's not that I don't want to eat it, I just have to watch what I eat. Now that I shared this with you, I will post later about an awesome thing that happened to me. Its hard for me to write about this so thanks for reading and the support I know you guys are going to give me.
Food. I struggle with food. It is my obsession and my downfall. I've always struggled with it but in high school it wasn't that bad. Then I went to college and playing a college sport made it so I could eat anything I wanted whenever I wanted without a consequence. During the last year of college I realized that I needed help because my eating habits were out of control. I'm a compulsive, guilty, emotional, over-eater. I exhibit all bad habits of eating. I tried to help myself but nothing worked. I finished basketball last March and gained weight. At Christmas I finally had had enough. I couldn't control my eating habits and food was controlling my life. I wanted to eat all the time and it consumed every minute of my day. I'd been telling my mom (how is a therapist) that I needed to get help because I couldn't do it on my own.
God told me that I need to get my life healthy before he will bring someone into my life. I decided to sign up for Weight Watchers on Dec. 26 and see if I could relearn how to eat to be a healthier person. I knew this was a step I had to take in the right direction. The first few weeks were great, I didn't have any of the cravings I had before. As I got more comfortable with the program, I started to get my craving and habits back but I have kept it still within the program. I've lost 15 pounds in the last 7 weeks which is great but I don't want these old habits.
So here is what I am struggling with:
1. bad old habits
2. I feel great that I've lost a good deal of weight and then I realize that I've been skinnier and then start to feel bad about myself again
3. at this point, every day I feel like sabotaging myself so that I don't loose weight. I've been so successful so far I feel like at some point I NEED to fail (I know that's awful!)
It's been on my mind to share with you throughout the whole week because I want you to know my struggle. I need prayer and support. And I apologize if I don't eat what you offer me when I am with you. It's not that I don't want to eat it, I just have to watch what I eat. Now that I shared this with you, I will post later about an awesome thing that happened to me. Its hard for me to write about this so thanks for reading and the support I know you guys are going to give me.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
If we are the body
Right when I recommitted myself to the Lord, I hear this song and went OK, I get it. But not until Darin this last weekend posed the question that I have heard before but hadn't really hit me yet. Do we go to church or are we the church. This week that statement rocked me. It made me think, do I just do the church thing?As I was driving home from work this week thinking about what I wanted to blog about, I was listening to the Fish when Casting Crowns If We are the Body came on. I started listening and this song slapped me right in the face. He is challenging us to be the body and be church, not just go to go.
If We are the Body
by Casting Crowns
It's crowded in a worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way? There is a way?
A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tell him that his chances
Are better out on the road
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/if-we-are-the-body-lyrics.html .]
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way?
But Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way?
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way? As Jesus is the way
I think that for the past year I have just been doing the church thing. That's one of the reasons I joined Circles. I don't want to just do the church thing anymore. I want to be the church. I want to emanate God and the church in everything I do. I'm excited about my new challenge. Praise the Lord!
If We are the Body
by Casting Crowns
It's crowded in a worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way? There is a way?
A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tell him that his chances
Are better out on the road
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
[. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/casting-crowns-lyrics/if-we-are-the-body-lyrics.html .]
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way?
But Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way?
If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them
There is a way? As Jesus is the way
I think that for the past year I have just been doing the church thing. That's one of the reasons I joined Circles. I don't want to just do the church thing anymore. I want to be the church. I want to emanate God and the church in everything I do. I'm excited about my new challenge. Praise the Lord!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Everday Joy
I was reading the section about joy in our book, Here and Now. Part 2 where it talks about joy as a choice has stuck with me this week. God is in control of our lives but we have control of finding joy in our lives.
"It might sound strange to say that joy is the result of our choices. We often imagine that some people are luckier than others and that their joy or sorrow depends on the circumstances of their life--over which they have no control."
We have a choice in how we respond to our circumstances. It's my first week of substitute teaching and although I want to teach HS math, I signed up to sub anything and I thought that I would get maybe 1-2 calls this week. Every morning between 5-6:30 my phone has gone off.
Monday: kindergarten/1st grade
Tuesday: 4-6th grade Special Ed
Wednesday: continuation HS
Thursday: Kindergarten
Friday: ? (I'm hoping for some older kids) I'll know in the morning, that is if I get a call at all
God put the challenge on my heart this week to be joyful in every situation. I wanted to be the nicest sub these kids had ever had and shown them the true joy in God that I have in me. I never thought that I would be as tired or had as much fun with the crazy kids God placed in my care every day this week. I even had a kid from the continuation high school tell me I didn't belong there and hoped that I didn't come back. I was shocked.
I love getting that call every morning waiting for it to tell me my assignment because I know that is where God wanted me to be that day. I am finding great joy in waiting on the Lord to put me in the place I am supposed to be that day and making every day different. It's refreshing to not know what my day looks like, where I will be, and who I will be teaching until I get my wake-up call.
"It might sound strange to say that joy is the result of our choices. We often imagine that some people are luckier than others and that their joy or sorrow depends on the circumstances of their life--over which they have no control."
We have a choice in how we respond to our circumstances. It's my first week of substitute teaching and although I want to teach HS math, I signed up to sub anything and I thought that I would get maybe 1-2 calls this week. Every morning between 5-6:30 my phone has gone off.
Monday: kindergarten/1st grade
Tuesday: 4-6th grade Special Ed
Wednesday: continuation HS
Thursday: Kindergarten
Friday: ? (I'm hoping for some older kids) I'll know in the morning, that is if I get a call at all
God put the challenge on my heart this week to be joyful in every situation. I wanted to be the nicest sub these kids had ever had and shown them the true joy in God that I have in me. I never thought that I would be as tired or had as much fun with the crazy kids God placed in my care every day this week. I even had a kid from the continuation high school tell me I didn't belong there and hoped that I didn't come back. I was shocked.
I love getting that call every morning waiting for it to tell me my assignment because I know that is where God wanted me to be that day. I am finding great joy in waiting on the Lord to put me in the place I am supposed to be that day and making every day different. It's refreshing to not know what my day looks like, where I will be, and who I will be teaching until I get my wake-up call.
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